"Dancing is bigger than the physical body. Think bigger than that. When you extend your arm, it doesn't stop at the end of your fingers, because you're dancing bigger than that. You're dancing spirit." — Judith Jamison
I went there with every intention of ending it.
I had the words picked out and pictured in my mind just how it would go. My reasons made sense. The money I was spending. Accumulating week after week while the damn instrument sat lifelessly inside its case, my fingers immersed in a thousand and one other projects. The psycho-drama that was bubbling up to the surface. How, after yet another week of failing to practice, it was turning into drudgery. Yet another thing upon my list that I had failed to get to.
“It’s just not happening,” I said to her. “It’s starting to stress me out.”
“I think I would be better off getting my shit together, doing a little bit of the work on my own, and then coming back to you when I’m a little further along.”
She sat knowingly, patient, silent at my side while I unloaded my spiel.
And then just as gracefully, and stealthily…..ground all of my well-thought-out verbiage.. into dust.
She knew where I was at. She understood my plight. But she also, in this moment, could see through the fog I had created inside my mind to the one, clear point of Light inside it.
“You're not doing this to play like me,” she began. “You're not doing this to make money or prove something to someone or to merit someone else's approval....
You're doing this for you.”
“For the sheer joy and beauty of it and because you have a gift and you want to explore it.
You're here because you want this in your World.”
This week before we start, we want you to investigate your Why. The bigger-than-you force that compels you here.
As we know, in life, as soon as we make a commitment to ourselves, a hundred other things then rise up to challenge that resolve. Other projects. Appointments. Life emergencies both major & minor.
You will be granted many good and justifiable reasons why you should bow out. Put it off. Wait till a more opportune time.
And all of these will make sense. In fact, will have great power - if you have not connected with a bigger Why.
What brings you here?
What are you here to uncover? Unveil? Reveal?
Why writing? Why here and now?
What do you have to say?
What do words and time upon the page bring you that nothing else can?
What is this thing beating inside your chest, what Cheryl Strayed refers to as “a second heart” - that you must begin to listen to if you are to move deeper into the center of your one, wild Life?
I invite you to sit with these questions today. Spend some time with them upon the page.
Find a quiet nook of about 20 minutes where you can listen to that second heart beat::: and allow the Bigger Picture to begin to emerge.